Genuine compassion is standing with those who suffer

Genuine compassion is standing with those who suffer
By Bishop Robert Vasa
(The Catholic Sentinal, March 21, 2008)

BEND — Pope Benedict writes in Spe Salvi, “The true measure of humanity is essentially determined in relationship to suffering and to the sufferer. This holds true both for the individual and for society. A society unable to accept its suffering members and incapable of helping to share their suffering and to bear it inwardly through ‘compassion’ is a cruel and inhuman society. Yet society cannot accept its suffering members and support them in their trials unless individuals are capable of doing so themselves; moreover, the individual cannot accept another’s suffering unless he personally is able to find meaning in suffering, a path of purification and growth in maturity, a journey of hope. Indeed, to accept the ‘other’ who suffers, means that I take up his suffering in such a way that it becomes mine also. Because it has now become a shared suffering, though, in which another person is present, this suffering is penetrated by the light of love. The Latin word con-solatio, ‘consolation’, expresses this beautifully. It suggests being with the other in his solitude, so that it ceases to be solitude. Furthermore, the capacity to accept suffering for the sake of goodness, truth and justice is an essential criterion of humanity, because if my own well-being and safety are ultimately more important than truth and justice, then the power of the stronger prevails, then violence and untruth reign supreme. Truth and justice must stand above my comfort and physical well-being, or else my life itself becomes a lie. In the end, even the ‘yes’ to love is a source of suffering, because love always requires expropriations of my ‘I’, in which I allow myself to be pruned and wounded. Love simply cannot exist without this painful renunciation of myself, for otherwise it becomes pure selfishness and thereby ceases to be love.”

I choose to cite the entire paragraph because of its applicability to the week in which we now find ourselves, Holy Week. This is the Week of the Lord’s Passion, Death and Resurrection. I can remember as a child being drawn very strongly into reflections on the Lord’s suffering both in the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary and in the Stations of the Cross. Most of us have become very familiar with the famous movie from a few years ago, The Passion of the Christ. These certainly impress upon us the severity of the sufferings of our Lord and the patience with which He bore them and they may very effectively move us to appreciate more solemnly the depth of the Lord’s love for us but there should be more. There must be more.

Pope Benedict says: “A society unable to accept its suffering members and incapable of helping to share their suffering and to bear it inwardly through ‘com-passion’ is a cruel and inhuman society.” There is certainly need to know about the Lord’s suffering and to recognize that His willingness to suffer is proof of His great love. We need this assurance of the unconditional and sacrificial nature of God’s love for us but there is more. We are not to be merely passive recipients of the benefits of the Lord’s passion or observant bystanders. We are to express true com-passion by standing with Him in His Passion. We are to offer con-solation by entering with Him into the solitude of His suffering. The Holy Father purposely hyphenates the words consolation and com-passion in an effort to emphasize their true meaning. Both com-passion and con-solation, in a way, have a cost associated with them. They require a sacrifice of the self. They require entering into the “passion” and the “isolation” of the other. They require a willingness to be “pruned and wounded.

“A society unable to accept its suffering members and incapable of helping to share their suffering and to bear it inwardly through ‘com-passion’ is a cruel and inhuman society.”

In a state where the salvific meaning of suffering is denied we are led to believe that com-passion means ending the suffering of another by ending their life. While such an action may have the appearance of com-passion it is, in truth, a denial of authentic com-passion.

I often wonder, when I hear of yet another assisted suicide, if the suicidal death took place because the victim found the pain to be insurmountable or if others found it unbearable. It would seem that any form of assisted suicide would require an absence of true com-passion and con-solation.

The acceptance of such an extreme measure for others implies an unwillingness on the part of the “bystanders” to stay by the cross. The acceptance of such an extreme measure for oneself implies a failure to recognize the authenticity of the com-passion and consolation offered by others. Perhaps one could go to the point of actually questioning the authenticity of the com-passion and consolation offered by others. When these are present one dies peacefully. When they are absent one simply wants to die.

“A society unable to accept its suffering members and incapable of helping to share their suffering and to bear it inwardly through ‘com-passion’ is a cruel and inhuman society.”

Our Holy Week ceremonies and celebrations do not glorify death but Good Friday, the day of the Lord’s Passion and Death, does stand at the very center of the “hour” for which Jesus came. While all suffering and pain by its nature is uniquely isolating the Lord’s suffering and death stands for us as the way, the truth and the light about pain, suffering and death. The Lord accepts the beautiful com-passion and con-solation of His Holy Mother, His Beloved Disciple, Mary of Cleophas and Mary Magdalen who stood by the cross quite helplessly but not as passive bystanders. At the same time He manifested, even in His suffering, a tremendous “com-passion” for other. “Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for Me; but weep for yourselves, and for your children.” (Luke 23:28) “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) As He has done, so we must likewise do.

After Good Friday we recognize the other side of suffering and death, the Resurrection, the Lord’s victory over sin and death. May God grant to each of you a rich and abundant hope in this Resurrection and thus a hope for giving and receiving authentic com-passion and con-solation.

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia.