Tough Franciscans?!

This item from Fr Z's blog gave me a chuckle, so I'm reprinting it here!
Criminal Serving Time with Monks Begs to be Sent Back to Prison

Criminal serving his sentence with monks pleads to be sent back to prison… because monastery life is too hard


A convicted criminal who was serving out his sentence in a monastery has escaped for the second time and asked to be sent back to prison because life was too tough.


Thief David Catalano, 31, was sent to a Santa Maria degli Angeli community run by Capuchin monks in Sicily last November.


But he found their austere lifetstyle too tough to handle and soon escaped. After a short while on the run he was caught by police and sent back.


On Monday he fled for the second time in six weeks, only to swiftly turn himself in at a police station and beg officers to send him back to jail in the nearby town of Nicosia.


He told the stunned policemen: ‘Prison is better than being at that hostel run by monks.’


A police spokesman said: ‘Catalano arrived out of the blue and said there was no way he could stay on with the monks.


‘He said it was too tough and he wanted to go back to prison, so we happily obliged and he is now back behind bars serving the rest of his sentence.


‘Life with the monks can be pretty tough – there are no mod cons and they are up early and go to bed early. There are no luxuries at the hostel and the monks run a very austere regime.’


The Santa Maria degli Angeli community is based in a monastery near Enna on the island of Sicily.


It has been run as a halfway house by the Capuchin friars for more than 12 years with around 60 prisoners accommodated there as they near the end of their sentences.
[...]

Thank you, Fr Z!

From "Bad Vestments" blog

I fount this image at the site "Bad Vestments" which is so like a train wreck where you don't want to see the carnage but can't help but look.

anyway, this had me in stitches...

Bad Vestments post can be found here

O.P.L. defined

Thank you Christopher, for the lovely definition I found at your link
Ite ad Thomam

O.P.L. = "Out of Print Library"

I suppose a Lay Dominican of the faith is a walking out-of-print library today.
Now I thought that was fairly humorous, and figured you might need a humor-check today!

As close to the Oscars as I got

This is from Mel Gibson, enjoy.

Lesson on the False Dichotomy Fallacy

Here's a look at the flawed logic so often encountered in attacks on the faith.



hat tip to Dutch blogger Turgonian Transitus Tiberis via Steve Ray's Defenders of the Catholic Faith forums.

Ask Dr. Science!

One of the interesting things about installing software in other people's offices... is the interesting things they pin up on their walls. Given where I work, this is priceless.

Let's Spread The Wealth

This morning I received this political cartoon (click to see larger view):



This got me to thinking, what about "equal protection" and all that...

I'd like to see started a grass-roots movement to tax political contributions as income! After all, our political contributions are NOT tax deductable, and political organizations are NOT non-profit corporations, so… give ‘em a dose of their own medicine! Tell me why should such wealthy organizations get a complete pass on tax liability?

If the Bush tax cuts expire, the next presidential election should raise an additional $500 million in tax revenue, based on the billion raised in this election.

Hey, the Lotto is taxed at 50% - I say “share the wealth” – let's apply the same standards to the Big Lotto winner as we apply to the little guy who wins a lotto; that would be fair, right?

"Chan we can believe in"

Outside the debate this evening, were individuals carrying posters that said "Chan we can believe in" substituting a picture of Jackie Chan for Barack Obama.

A Google search found the web site source immediately after the debate; hit #1.
However... now, an hour later, Google reports "no results found" for a search on "Chan we can believe in"

Can you believe it; censorship from Google? AH, SAY IT AIN'T SO!

well, Windows XP IE does use a cache, so here it is anyway.



regardless of the political leanings, expressed or implied, by this poster, the creativity is obvious and good for a chuckle. Come on, guys, lighten up!

update 30 minutes later: it's back. hummm...

End of ze world

Product of liberal education? I don't know; it's humorous but beware, language alert (not for delicate ears).

From 1984...

John Lithgow in that delightful parody, Buckaroo Banzai:


which produced such deeply memorable lines as:


and "No matter where you go, there you are."

Ode to Sarah

Ode To Sarah, by Jay Boyd

Ode to Sarah

The candidate for whom we were prayin'
Has arrived and appears to be stayin'.
Pro-life she preaches
And lives what she teaches.
Her name is Sarah Palin.

Her opponents say Sarah's too green,
But her actions can clearly be seen.
She sent the big jet away
Via e-Bay,
And made government spending go lean.

Sarah tells us that she's a "goil"
Who knows about Alaskan oil.
She's more than willing
To do more drilling
To keep gas on American soil.

Her daughter is pregnant today,
But the girl isn't married, they say.
Abstinence defied?
No - just not tried.
Palin's values are still here to stay.

"But…the WAR!" the liberals cry.
"We don't want more soldiers to die!"
Her eldest son Track
Is assigned to Iraq;
Palin says we should still fight, and why

Sarah Palin puts down Obama
With the sweetness of somebody's mama.
She's after the leftists
As well as the terrorists:
You'd better watch out, Osama!


Dr. Jay Boyd is a convert to the Catholic faith, a Psychologist residing in Baker City, Oregon, and a frequent contributor to Homelitic and Pastoral Review who also enjoys writing limericks

Chewing gum at mass

Father Richtsteig has an issue with chewing gum at mass, as well we all should! On his blog, in a post titled Bringing out the big guns, he proposes the following informational poster:



that's good, Padre. Maybe you could induce the slack-jawed cud-chewers to rack their gum, as certainly you expect them to rack their gun...



...very orderly, very nice. But what would a gum rack look like?





No, on second thought, I don't think that would work (click image for more gross-out from a blog called "Amazing!" - rather too generous a term for this!). Leave it home, folks, or perhaps stick it under the seat of your own car if you forget!

Ode to Nancy

Ode To Nancy, by Jay Boyd

Senator Nancy Pelosi,
Has theology weak as Jello-si,
She quotes from Augustine
But must take a dustin'
From those who are in the know-si.

Nancy Pelosi's the Speaker,
But her theology is really much weaker
Than she'd like to admit;
It's giving her fits,
But it hasn't made her much meeker.

Communion's important, she's announcing,
As the Church's teaching she's renouncing.
She wants to receive;
She says she believes.
But the Bishops gave her a trouncing.

We witness amazing contortion,
Not to mention doctrinal distortion,
When Nancy comes in
With her version of sin,
And her political stance on abortion.

"Abortion just might not be wrong
If the woman's not too far along."
Roe v. Wade preaching
Replaces Church teaching
As Nancy's political song.

Abortion is wrong - she must know!
But with her record, it sure doesn't show.
She's Catholic, she said,
But her faith must be dead.
Nancy: you'll reap what you sow.


Dr. Jay Boyd is a convert to the Catholic faith, a Psychologist residing in Baker City, Oregon, and a frequent contributor to Homelitic and Pastoral Review who also enjoys writing limericks

Equivocation - a postscript

This post is a post-script to the earlier post on equivocation; it is from Fr. Gerard S.J.’s “The Autobiography of a Hunted Priest.” For context, Fr. Gerard is living undercover as a gentleman of means…

Once in this lady’s house I was sitting with her in the dining-room after dinner – her maids-in-waiting were there, but the servants had gone downstairs for their own dinner. We were discussing spiritual subjects and sitting at the table. Suddenly some servants came up with a guest who had just arrived. He was a Doctor of Divinity from Oxford and a well-known persecutor of Catholics. His name was Abbot. Just recently he had published a book against Father Southwell, who had been executed, and Father Gerard, the man who had escaped from the Tower. These two priests had defended the doctrine of equivocation which he set out to refute. After its publication this good man was promoted to the Deanery of Winchester, which carried with it an annual income of 8,000 florins.

The gentleman, as I said, was shown upstairs and walked into the dining-room. After the fashion of these dignitaries, he was wearing a silk soutane that came down to his knees. He found us, or so he thought, playing cards. Actually we had put the cards away to attend to better things as soon as the servants had gone downstairs, and we had resumed our game when this gentleman was announced. So he found us sitting at the card-table piled with money.

I should explain that whenever I was with Catholics and we had to stage a game of circumstances like these, we had an understanding that everybody got his money back at the end and that the loser said an Ave Maria for ever counter returned. In this way I often played with brother Digby and others, when there was occasion to act a part and make bystanders think that we were playing for money in good earnest.

The good minister, therefore, did not have a moment’s suspicion. After an exchange of courtesies he began talking volubly. It is all these men can do; they have no solid knowledge, but with their persuasive words of human wisdom they lead poor souls astray and ‘subvert whole households, teaching what they ought not.’ So after a good deal of frivolous take, this man came out with the latest news from London: the story of a Puritan who had thrown himself from a church tower and had left behind a note in which he claimed that he was certain of his eternal salvation. The doctor did not mention that, but I heard it from another source.

‘Poor fellow,’ I said. ‘What could have induced him to destroy his body and soul in one fell act?’

‘Sir,’ answered the doctor, in a learned and magisterial manner. ‘Sir, it is not for us to pass judgment on any man.’

‘Quite so,’ I said. ‘It is possible, of course, that the man repented of his sin as he was still falling, inter pontem et fontem, as they say. But it is very unlikely. The man’s last act which we have any means of judging was a mortal sin and merited damnation.’

‘But,’ said the doctor, ‘we don’t know whether this was such a sin.’

‘Pardon me,’ I said, ‘it is not a case here of our own judgment. It is a question of God’s judgment; He forbids us under pain of hell to kill anyone, and particularly ourselves, for charity begins at home.’

The good doctor was caught. He said nothing more on the point, but he turned the subject, saying with a smile:

‘Gentlemen should not dispute on theological questions.’

‘I agree,’ I said. ‘We don’t, of course, pretend to know theology, but we should at least know the law of God, even if our profession is to play cards.’

When the lady I was playing with heard this retort she could hardly keep a straight face. What would he have thought if he had known whom he was talking to? But the doctor did not stay much longer. He went away after about an hour. I don’t know whether he left sooner than he had intended, but I do know that we much preferred his room to his company.

New blog

Our newest Chapter Member, "Muscovite," is dabbling with a blog!

What I do
In case it's interesting to anyone out there.

I work with children and youth on drug abuse awareness, teen pregnancy avoidance, emotional health (e.g., self-control, healthy self-image, etc.) issues, life skills, developing healthy eating and exercise habits, and building healthy relationships. I also oversee their academic education. I try to make their lives as normal and secure and loving as possible. I am their mother, and I am married to their father. It's an unusual approach, but it works.

Priceless; looking forward to more!

---

and while I'm at it...

I stumbled across a nice blog with a Dominican flavor; ad altare dei, which I'll be visiting more in the future. Thanks, Alan.

To all our Idaho friends...

Kathleen, or Chapter Treasurer, sent the following, which was good for a chuckle...



THIS IS WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAD TO SAY ABOUT IDAHOANS!

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Idaho. [yes, even offered help]

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Idaho [no, but my kids have]

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Idaho. [I'm surprised more people haven't discovered this little pleasure]

If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Idaho . [no, but I did go to Portland for a Thai dinner before there were any Thai restraunts in Boise]

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Idaho . [Took me 9 hours today to make the 7 hour drive to Bend]

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Idaho. [OK, thats a negatory, in so far as I know]

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Idaho. [Hey, did he bug my thermostat? I know the power company wants to...]

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Idaho. [What's a lock?]



If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Idaho. [Yeah, Chrysler AWD has 7 computers in the transmission, and can stop in snow pack better than my old jeep crawling along at 25 ever could!]


If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Idaho. [hey, that's not funny. it's cold at 10PM in at the end of October!]

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Idaho. [Mr Foxworthy must not have made these observations in Canyon County.]

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Idaho. [potholes shotholes, move over Boston, you got nothing on the axel busters here!]

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Idaho . [hey, that's pretty good, but that is the other Idaho, north of Lewiston. They probably still think THEY are Idaho, but we stole the state seal and the seat of the state government, fair and square.]

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly' you live in Idaho. [see above]

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your IDAHO friends, you live in Idaho. [It's what America used to be]

Posted from the Bend, Oregon, Public library.

Constitutional aside

Hat tip to Southern Appeal

In focus

Fr. Speekman posted a comment recommending I get my life in focus...

I found the focus ring!

Roman Catholics for Obama '08

Archbishop Robert Chaput of Denver has written a thoughtful essay in First Things:

Thoughts on “Roman Catholics for Obama ’08”
By Charles J. Chaput


My belief as to why Catholics support the fanatics of homicide, who defend and promote the practice of homicide which daily kills more people in the US than the Iraq war has to date, is summed up by this picture. Sorry if you don't like it, but take a deep breath and look where you are.




Hat tip to Jay Anderson for the article, and Carter Barnes, programming geek extrordinaire, for the picture, and The lair Catholic Cavemen, whose links led me to Jay's article on the Archbishop's article on the ...

Email chains

I receive a lot of email chain letters, some real, some fabricated and exposed at places like snopes.com, but they continue to excite and make the rounds.

this, however, is in honor of Father at Orthometer who recently mentioned Anita's (V-For Victory) contribution to the lexicon, Shambulation.

so read it, enjoy, and let's modify the rules, and play it in terms of the modern crisis of faith?

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition . Here are this year's winners.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10 Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the lot:

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole

Here's an attempt:

Litorgy - what happens when Call to Action pretends to celebrate mass.
Catechasm - the gulf between popular error and unchanging truth.

give it a shot?!