'they will know us by our love'

Search as I may, that quote doesn't actually seem to be in the bible...
it seems to be based on John 13:35: "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another(DR)"

I will assume that "they will know us by our love" is a paraphrase that may occur in some versions of scripture that are paraphrases rather than translations. A Google search reveals something interesting: this phrase seems to regularly be thrown as a weapon at Christians, especially for stating anything that goes against the secularist world view; the "flinger" invariably seems to believe that if we had "love one for another" we would say nothing against sin.

Is this in fact a position that has any bearing in scripture? Keeping in mind the fact that "all men" in the biblical context does not mean "every single person" but rather representatives of every group, I think John gives us the key, for he also wrote:

1 John 3:1. Behold what manner of charity the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called and should be the sons of God. Therefore the world knoweth not us, because it knew not him.

So this love by which we are to be known, is unknown, because the "manner of charity (love)" is different than the manner of the world's love. The world did not recognize Him when He walked among us, and to this day, still does not (because He still does in His body, the Church).

in trying to find that verse which apparently isn't in the bible, it occured to me that perhaps there is a bit of grace in it anyway. For, God made us in His image to know and to love Him, which seems to me to mean that if we do not love Him we will of necessity love something less; hence, "by our love" we will be known; whatever that love is. St. Augustine pointed out that man names himself by what he loves; the sinner by his love (hence the appelation "gay" etc; I once thought of myself as a 'biker' because of my love of motorcycles), but the Christian is know by what he loves; Christ.

The world will not know us because it did not know Him. This is so profound, that people rejected Him when He walked among them, with the same "it couldn't be" that is today thrown at His body, the Church.

In "A New Song for the Lord" Cdl Ratzinger says that at the root of the problems with the faith today is the answer to the question "Who do you say that I am?" - the answer that can hold "Jesus yes, church no" is a separation of Jesus from Christ, or, Jesus from Son of God; the separation which John calls "antichrist." The fantasy Jesus constructed apart from lived history and the reality of His mystical body, the Church, is popular today while the Church is considered only useful in the degree that it supports the world's view (but really is superfluous).

In "Battle for the American Church," Msgr Kelley enumerated the symptoms of self-destruction, in "A New Song for the Lord," Cdl Ratzinger has examined the disease that is the root cause.